Tuesday, February 17, 2015

On Nostalgia

Have you ever caught yourself day dreaming about the past? 

I find that sometimes I get a twisted, knotty feeling in my belly when a certain song comes on or I catch a whiff of a certain smell or see a picture pop up online that I had forgotten existed. That one moment, a tiny little reminder of what once was, has the power to send me in a spiral of memories that will flood my brain for the rest of the day. 

I sometimes wonder if it's normal to feel so nostalgic all the time. 

I'm constantly thinking about things that happened in the past as perfect little moments in history. Yet as the moment was happening it didn't feel perfect.  That relationship, friendship, event wasn't the epitome of perfection at that time.  What is it about time passing that makes everything feel infinitely better than what it really was? I guess time has the power to erase all the bad and leave only the good, sweet little details. 

Is this a good thing? Who knows.  Tell me I'm not the only one sitting here battling with my nostalgia. Do you do this too? 


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

A Little 'Refresher Course' on Me.

Miguel's been gone for the last few days on an amazing mountaineering course in New Zealand.  I'm ecstatic that the boy is off exploring and checking off things on his bucketlist, but being up in the mountains means there's no phone reception. I haven't heard from him since Saturday. *sniffle sniffle*

I bet I sound dramatic and overbearing.  I bet if I read this on someone else's blog, I would roll my eyes. I'm not a controlling girlfriend guys, I swear.  I just like to know that he's alive every once in a while.  Just a little smoke signal every now and then to prove that he's still surviving in those New Zealand mountains would be perfect.  That's not asking for too much is it?


So while he's been Bear Grylls-ing his life away, I've been having copious amounts of alone time -- something I haven't had in such abundance of in years.
Hello, Praxis, nice to hang out with you again. 

I wouldn't say I'm reveling in it, but I wouldn't say I'm struggling with it either.  I'm just... alright?

I've been enjoying doing the little things on my own -- going to the gym, cooking my favorite foods, sprawling out on the bed etc.  Those things have been nice.  I've also truly loved not having anything or anyone to worry about other than myself.  It's nice to just think about what I want without having to think about compromising with anyone else.  Not that Miguel and I are in a constant state of compromise, it's just nice to put the romance movie on without getting flack for it.

The other stuff hasn't been so fun though. There's no one to comment on what the contestants are cooking in My Kitchen Rules.  There's no one to share the cheeseboard with.  There's no one to tell me to scoot over on the couch.  There's no one to keep me company in the late hours of the night. That stuff is no fun.

If we put a positive spin on all this it would be something like, Praxis gets to have a refresher course on herself. She gets to reconnect with herself for two weeks, and after she's gotten reacquainted with herself, her guy arrives back home and she gets to continue this relationship with a renewed appreciation for herself and her relationship.  (that's a lot of 'RE's!)

Pretty good right?

So here's to refreshers! May we all get to take little 'refresher courses' in life that remind us who and what we are about.